Thinking is better than speaking.

Today was rather good. I got a few good compliments on how amazing i am at my job. Their words not mine. I was told i had a beautiful smile and that i should stay smiling all day. It really warms my heart when sweet cute ass old couples come in and tell me how beautiful i am and begin to act like teenagers. There was one couple in particular who i adore. The way they played jokes on each other and called each other names, i want that when I'm super old. A husband who still treats me with kindness, respect, and fuckery no matter my age. I may be 95 and fragile as fuck but ill still roast my husband on his hospital bed and i hope he does the same for me. Which i know for a fact my husband will definitely do. Hell always be a kid at heart. I got lucky.

I'm starting to enjoy my morning shifts and just because of old people. Even though its only been two days i feel its a better fit for me. I was never a morning person. Ask my older sisters and anyone else who tried waking up before noon. Getting me out of bed and ready for school was hard work that took persistent determination. 

You know that feeling of waking up and then immediately rolling over and going back to sleep? Isn't it just great. You wake up thinking "shit, i have to get ready for the day." And that little tiny voice in the back of your head says "nope" So gratifying. 

And then i met my husband who was always up before the sun even had a chance to make its way to us. I don't how or why. Most likely growing up on German time. Still it was nuts. Plus i hated waking up to him not there. He was usually outside if not working on his truck than vehicle did the trick. Man does he miss that truck. 

Sorry babe,  but i love you. 

P.s. im out of weed now. So ya know fuck life and all that. I think about what to write more than i should when im not high. When i am high the shit just flows out of me like a broken faucet. And i love it. All the voices in my head making me laugh or cry or angry as shit. Im go8ng to invite you in one day. Thats my plan. Just write whatever im thinking about, doesnt have to make sense theyre my thoughts and many times they dont. 

If only i spoke as much as i think.